How to Understand Regret

When we look back on things that have already happened, some inevitably leave us with a sense of regret.

That feeling can strongly affect our mood—especially by triggering negative emotions.

Yet in a deeper sense, regret is actually a sign of growth: it means we’ve gained enough perspective to spot flaws in past decisions or actions.

A more constructive approach is to accept regret—not as a verdict, but as data. Regret arises precisely because we now see a better path forward. The real work lies in tracing why that feeling surfaced—and what positive insights it offers for the future.

In short: transform the emotional weight of regret into forward-looking clarity.

What Regrets Do I Carry from the Past 14 Years?

It’s been nearly 14 years since I moved to Beijing in 2011.

Looking back, those years blur—like waking up from a single night’s sleep.

So I asked myself: What do I truly regret about this Beijing chapter?

Unsurprisingly, there are regrets. But what surprised me most was what they were—not missed chances, but underused ones.

The regrets aren’t about turning down a job offer or passing up an investment. They’re about failing to fully leverage the opportunities I did seize:

  • Not sustaining consistent learning habits,
  • Not diving deep enough into topics I care about,
  • Not building a real fitness routine—or mastering even one sport,
  • Not seeking out, engaging with, and befriending truly exceptional people,
  • Not systematically sharpening my thinking and mental models.

None of these regrets involve money. None hinge on lost financial freedom.

And yet, reflecting on them has quietly reshaped my priorities: today, I invest far more deliberately in foundational habits and capacities—the very things my past self overlooked. That shift is the upside of regret.

AI Leadership

I recently came across the term AI leadership—and immediately resonated.

AI leadership isn’t just about knowing how LLMs work. It’s about clarity: articulating precise needs, setting meaningful goals, and rigorously evaluating outputs.

It’s learning how to direct AI—not just prompt it, but guide it, refine it, and hold it accountable.

This ability will become the biggest differentiator in the AI era.

That’s why our AI training program places heavy emphasis on cultivating AI leadership: defining objectives, expressing needs clearly, understanding AI’s strengths and limits, and iterating based on feedback. These aren’t technical add-ons—they’re core human competencies for the next decade.

Why Explaining Things Often Annoys People

At its core, explaining (or “lecturing”) suffers from sharply diminishing marginal returns.

Hear a new idea once, and it lands powerfully. Hear it a second time? Less so. A third? You start tuning out. By the fifth repetition—even if it’s logically sound—it triggers resistance, not reflection.

Most people simply can’t repackage the same principle in fresh, compelling ways every time.

So if your goal is to help someone internalize an idea, don’t lead with explanation. Lead with questions. Create space for discovery. Let them arrive at the insight themselves. That’s how truths stick.

How to Spot Real Potential in Someone

I’ve grown increasingly convinced that raw potential has little to do with pedigree—degrees, networks, or past roles.

What matters are two quiet, persistent traits:

  1. Consistent, effective learning—not just consuming content, but integrating, applying, and refining knowledge;
  2. Reliable self-discipline—showing up daily, even when motivation fades.

Together, these form the bedrock of a growth mindset. Everything else—skills, titles, achievements—flows from them.