Principles of Education

I had dinner with a teacher and we talked about raising children.

He has three kids—all now thriving: they studied in the U.S., graduated from universities ranked in the global QS Top 100, and are doing well professionally and personally. He himself is highly accomplished: a shareholder in a listed company, an executive at a multinational corporation, and a National Model Teacher. He also enjoys life—telling me his wardrobe alone is worth about ¥10 million. I believed him: every time I’ve met him, he’s worn something different and stylish; I’ve worn the same outfit each time.

His approach to education holds practical insight.

  1. On parent–child and spousal relationships: He emphasizes independence, boundaries, respect, and fairness. Once his children became adults, he began calling his eldest son “Big Brother,” his second son “Second Brother,” and his daughter “Elder Sister.” He calls his wife “Fourth Sister.”

His children love and deeply respect him—not because he imposed control or enforced authority through micromanagement, but because he honored their autonomy.

  1. Why are his children so successful?
    He treats them as independent individuals. They possess—and have always possessed—the capacity to solve their own problems. In most cases, adult intervention or “help” isn’t needed.

What adults often label “care” or “support” can feel like boundary violations from a child’s perspective. Over time, excessive interference turns children into appendages of their parents—not people with agency.

  1. A concrete example: When he moved his child from their hometown to Beijing for school (third grade), the child ranked last in the grade academically. Within a year, they rose to top three—entirely through self-directed effort: seeking help from teachers, studying late every night.

I asked: What fueled that motivation and self-drive?
His answer: Values.

Children need early, intentional support in building sound values and mental models. Many adults never develop a coherent value system—and that shapes everything: how they think, choose, act, and persist. Values determine behavior patterns.

  1. On homework: Should parents monitor it? He never does—unless the child asks for help. Homework is the child’s responsibility. The moment a parent steps in to supervise, the ownership shifts: it becomes the parent’s task, not the child’s.

The parent’s real job is twofold: first, helping the child internalize that homework belongs to them; second, clarifying why it matters—for learning, growth, and long-term capability.

How do you influence this? Again: values.

  1. Where do values come from?
    Through practice—especially in early years. Two primary sources: learning and environment. Environment includes family dynamics, neighborhood culture, peer groups, and daily routines.

The quality of both learning and environment directly shapes the values a child internalizes.

Sex Education

The core of sex education is how to engage in sexual activity safely.

In China, sex education faces unique challenges: widespread cultural avoidance, silence around sexuality, and a common parental expectation that children abstain until age 18. That expectation—well-intentioned but rigid—is the central tension in Chinese sex education.

Yet mounting tragic cases show that silence doesn’t eliminate risk—it multiplies it. Families with daughters especially must prioritize thoughtful, age-appropriate sex education. Blunt prohibition or embarrassed avoidance cannot meaningfully reduce harm.

The greatest danger isn’t sex itself—it’s the absence of grounded values and non-negotiable safety principles. “Safety” must be the absolute baseline—non-optional, non-debatable. Without proper education, many girls may lower or abandon their boundaries during sexual encounters, precisely because emotion overrides reason in those moments.

With that awareness, a few well-timed, honest, and calm conversations—framed with care and clarity—can lay the foundation for healthy, values-aligned sexual attitudes. For most children, that investment pays lifelong dividends.

Project Selection Logic

A few reflections from recent conversations about choosing ventures:

Three core filters: familiarity, demand type, and frequency.

  1. Familiarity
    Investing in a project mirrors investing in a company: your returns hinge on depth of understanding. “Familiarity” means knowing its opportunities, risks, competitors, growth levers, key metrics—and having your own integrated mental model, not just surface-level impressions.

Once you truly map a domain, many projects lose their initial allure. “A world apart” isn’t poetic—it’s literal.

  1. Demand Type
    Demand falls into two buckets: real needs and pseudo-needs. Some ventures look dazzling but serve no essential human need—yet founders pursue them anyway, seduced by novelty (“self-hype”).

That said, demand evolves with technology and context. Take keys: they’re vanishing—not because locks improved, but because face ID, fingerprint sensors, and Bluetooth unlocking now deliver better convenience.

  1. Frequency
    If demand is genuine, success odds rise significantly. Next, assess frequency: high-frequency vs. low-frequency. Generally, high-frequency needs carry greater commercial potential—but also fiercer competition. If you can differentiate meaningfully, go for it. If not, consider low-frequency but essential needs: less crowded, still valuable, and often underserved.

Hiring Essentials

Hiring is both technical and physical labor. Two non-negotiable principles: talk more, and talk deeper.

  • Talk more: When you’re excited about a candidate, don’t rush to extend an offer. Instead, schedule multiple conversations—in varied settings (e.g., coffee, team lunch, walk-and-talk). Especially for critical roles: more touchpoints build mutual trust and alignment.

  • Talk deeper: Clarify performance expectations before day one. Define what will be done, how, and what “done well” looks like. No vagueness. No salesmanship. Just shared clarity—so neither side misleads the other.

Notes from Conversation

  1. Learn to coexist with unsolvable problems—like aging. Not all things yield to action.
  2. Reading quality trumps quantity. One deeply absorbed book per month—reread, reflected upon, internalized—yields faster growth than skimming ten. I keep re-reading the book beside my bed; each pass reveals new layers. Depth isn’t accidental—it’s cultivated through repetition.
  3. Every economic crisis hides opportunity. Every argument—unless rooted in irreconcilable principle—is a small crisis and a relational upgrade opportunity. Most people miss it—or dismiss it.
  4. Focus relentlessly on your strengths. Nurture them. Your weaknesses matter only if they actively undermine your core contribution.
  5. Much wealth isn’t created—it’s transferred: from one hand to another. That’s the engine behind many resource-based businesses.
  6. To gauge someone’s future potential, observe how they spend time outside sleep. Do they invest it (learning, strategizing, training) or consume it (binge drinking, empty boasting)?
  7. Surround yourself with people who earn money daily. Behind that effort lie sharpened cognition, hard-won experience, trusted networks, emotional intelligence, and discipline.
  8. A root cause of family conflict is often financial strain. Without economic stability, patience, empathy, and growth become luxuries—not foundations.
  9. When you can’t change your environment, change your location—or bring in external forces to elevate it.

An Interview Puzzle

A deceptively simple but revealing question:

In five seconds, tell a story of at least ten sentences—where the first sentence is:
“I’m driving a Jeep across the Sahara Desert.”
…and the last sentence is:
“The peonies in Luoyang are blooming.”

It tests speed, logic, imagination, and verbal fluency. Try it.