Is It Wise to Flatter the Powerful?

As a child, I noticed how many people rushed to flatter “important” figures when they appeared—luckily, my social anxiety spared me from joining that herd.

Later, after interacting with numerous influential people, I realized flattery is profoundly unwise. Flattering someone—whether a billionaire or a high-ranking official—carries no intrinsic value. Blindly currying favor only diminishes your own worth, leaving you hollow and disposable.

The far better path to earning their genuine attention is to create unique, irreplaceable value—something they and their inner circle simply cannot deliver themselves.

For example: dive deep into a narrow field, work relentlessly, and become the undisputed national expert. Only then does your dialogue begin on equal footing. And only then does emotional intelligence—timely, thoughtful engagement—become your most effective strategy.

A Few Reflections on the Baihe.com Founder’s Public Critique

Former Baihe.com founder Mu Yan recently posted a pointed critique of Zhang Yiming and Douyin (TikTok) on WeChat Moments.

Here’s what struck me:

Adopt a dynamic perspective: Context shifts constantly—relationships evolve accordingly. Nothing stays fixed.
Anchor in your present capability: If your current strength doesn’t match your opinion, speaking up risks sounding arrogant—or worse, irrelevant. Self-respect begins with honest self-assessment.
Talk less about the past, more about now and next: Don’t dwell in former glories—especially during decline. The quietest, most powerful move is sustained focus on what’s directly in front of you.
Top-tier relationships are transactional—not nostalgic: They’re anchored in current and future alignment—not shared history. Keep pace, or step aside gracefully.
Holding on and letting go are equally hard—but letting go is wiser: True wisdom lies not in clinging, but in releasing with dignity. That earns real respect.
Don’t overestimate relationships: Most “strong ties” lack objective grounding. What feels like mutual closeness is often unilateral hope—except with family, lifelong friends, or true confidants. Few people warrant your endless patience.
Learn upward, connect downward—but set boundaries: Seek mentors above you; build goodwill with those below. But never blur lines—overextension leads to collapse.

How Adults Can Practice Focus

Compared to children, adults need more, not less, deliberate focus training. Real focus means fully inhabiting the present—engaging deeply with what’s happening now, while gently setting aside thoughts of past regrets or future anxieties. Irrelevant mental noise belongs nowhere near this moment.

Two key benefits emerge when adults cultivate focus:

First, work efficiency multiplies. Much of our low output isn’t due to skill gaps—it’s self-sabotage: we let emotions hijack attention. Example: a livestream host fixates on last session’s metrics, letting that data swing their mood—and thus their energy and presence this session. But fluctuations are normal. Letting them disrupt your flow is optional.

Second, your focused presence becomes protective for others—especially children. When you model calm, undivided attention, you unconsciously teach them how to hold space for their own concentration. You stop interrupting their flow—because you’ve reclaimed yours.

How to train it? Start simple: meditation. Sit quietly. Run. Swim. Walk mindfully. The form matters less than consistency. With deliberate practice, your brain rewires itself—making focus less effort, more instinct.

How to Discover Your True Self—and Coexist With It

In The Surrender Experiment, the author describes two “selves” operating within us.

One is the false self: reactive, emotional, driven by craving, aversion, and delusion—short-term, impulsive, ego-identified.

The other is the true self: calm, observant, grounded in wisdom and long-term integrity. It doesn’t shout—it witnesses. It doesn’t demand—it discerns. It’s always there, like background light—visible only when the noise dims.

Think of scrolling short videos: one “you” is immersed in dopamine hits; another “you” quietly watches that immersion unfold. Most people never notice the watcher. Yet that silent observer holds profound power—the capacity to redirect, to pause, to choose.

How to meet it? Meditation is the simplest door. In stillness, the false self softens. The true self emerges—not as a voice, but as clarity. Spend time with it. Ask it questions. Listen—not for answers, but for resonance. Over time, its guidance reshapes behavior from the inside out.

How to Understand Yourself Better

Social psychologists built a validated assessment scale inspired by Machiavelli’s The Prince. It offers a sociological lens—not moral judgment—to help you understand your natural tendencies, especially around power, trust, and influence.

Your score isn’t “good” or “bad.” It’s diagnostic: revealing which environments suit you, which roles align with your wiring—and even offering realistic insight into civil service fit and potential ceiling.

I’ve found it surprisingly useful—not as a label, but as a mirror.

Want to try? Score each statement from 1 (strongly agree) to 5 (strongly disagree):

Perfection is possible.
Honesty is always the best policy.
Most people are courageous.
Most successful people lead morally upright lives.
To get someone to act, tell them the real reason—not the most persuasive one.
People with incurable illness should have the right to painless death.
Flattering powerful people is wise.
People won’t work hard unless forced.
Never reveal your true motive unless it serves your goal.
Do only what’s ethically right.
Success usually requires cutting corners.
Everyone has a cruel streak—it surfaces when opportunity arises.
Criminals differ from others mainly in being caught.
There’s never justification for lying.
Most people forget deceased parents faster than lost money.
Trusting others blindly invites trouble.
Most people are fundamentally good.
The best way to influence others is to say what they want to hear.
A new fool is born every minute.
Humility and honesty beat arrogance and deceit.

Add up your 20 scores. Interpretation isn’t about the number—it’s about the honesty behind it. That inner truth is where self-knowledge begins.

Need help reading your results? Feel free to DM me.

Three High-Empathy Moves: Praise, Gifts, and Non-Contradiction

High-empathy communication rests on three practical moves:

Praise: Say what they want to hear—not what you think sounds nice. Match tone, timing, and substance to their needs and identity.
Gifts: Give what they value—not what you assume is meaningful. Thoughtfulness beats expense. Relevance beats rarity.
Non-contradiction: Use “U-shaped” dialogue—even when disagreeing. First affirm shared ground (“I see why that makes sense…”), then bridge (“And given X, have you considered Y?”). This keeps both parties aligned—not opposed.

True high empathy is hard. Its core demand is radical other-centeredness: seeing the world through their eyes, standing with them—not just beside them. Mastery takes daily practice.

And remember: high empathy isn’t universal protocol. It’s strategic. Use it when you want allies—not adversaries.

12 Traffic Sources for WeChat Channels Live Streams

Here’s where viewers actually come from:

Traffic Coupons: New accounts earn coupons for consistent streaming; private-channel referrals that convert also trigger rewards.
Fan Groups: Encourage live viewers to join your fan group + enable notifications—30–50% wake-up rate per stream.
Short Videos: 1–3% click-through from relevant short videos to your live room.
WeChat Moments: Share your stream link directly—especially if fans reshare, you’ll attract high-intent, high-retention viewers.
Search (WeChat “Sōu Yī Sōu”): Users search keywords → land in your live room. Optimize titles and descriptions.
Official Accounts: Pre-stream announcements via articles; link your live room to your account—fans see it in their subscription feed.
WeChat Groups: Broadcast before and during streams to your own communities—or partner groups (e.g., student cohorts).
Private Messages: 1:1 invites to warm leads dramatically boost watch time and engagement.
Algorithmic Recommendations: The largest source. Platform pushes based on real-time metrics: retention, interaction, conversion.
Live Square: Top-performing streams appear here—driving discovery from casual browsers.
Live Previews: Promote upcoming streams across channels (live room banner, Moments, short video, groups). Wake-up rate: 30–50%. Critical for major events.
Local Feed: Enable location tagging—users browsing “Nearby Live” see your stream.

Key metrics to track & review: average watch time, interaction rate, GPM (Gross Profit per Mille), order density, and total stream duration.

Why People Suffer

A core source of human suffering is the persistent urge to control others.

No one welcomes being controlled—not loved ones, colleagues, or strangers. So when you try, resistance follows: friction, resentment, withdrawal, conflict.

This drive isn’t really about others—it’s about yourself. It’s a subconscious bid for certainty, for safety, for the illusion of order in an unpredictable world.

Conversely, being controlled triggers deep unease and fear—another signal to protect your autonomy.

The only sustainable antidote? Strengthen yourself—not to dominate, but to stand so firmly in your own center that you no longer need to grip others to feel secure.